Faced with possibly spectral contamination, the property manager of a Conifer Road business complex asked JCSO to investigate the unearthly residue haunting her hallways. Sometime the night before, she said, entities unknown had discharged the full contents of a fire extinguisher inside the building’s dark and 
forbidding service passage, leaving the place thickly coated with fire suppressant chemicals. Eerily, the depleted extinguisher was found still attached to the wall in its accustomed position. It could have been someone who works in the building, she said, or any member of the public. She didn’t say it could also have been ghosts, but it could also have been ghosts.
Category Archives: About
If only they weren’t so darned, er, portable
EVERGREEN – A Bergen Park electronics salesman called the JCSO help-desk on the morning of May 10 after getting burned by a hot prospect. The day before, he moaned, a young Hispanic fellow wearing a muscle shirt and a couple gigs of tattoo-graphics on his bare arms and shoulders came in to size up TVs and, after maybe 45 minutes of judicious FAQs, chose one. When the salesman returned from the stock room with his merchandise, however, his hard-won sale had vanished from the showroom, as had an HP Pavilion notebook computer. Intriguingly, a gentleman matching the shifty shopper’s description performed an identical shop-and-shimmy at the chain’s Golden outlet just three days before, but somehow the corporate APB never made it up the canyon. As to recovering its pilfered property, it seems the venerable technology shop doesn’t employ video security technology, and nobody ever thought to note the missing computer’s serial number. Pending further data, the Case of the Purloined Pavilion remains in sleep mode.
Why Don’t You Never Call?
Try to follow along: Mr. and Mrs. A, a middle-aged couple, have been renting a cabin from the kindly Ms. B, a lady in her 60s. Mr. A recently left his wife and installed himself in the manor house with Ms. B. On May 3, a harried Ms. B summoned sheriff’s deputies to her South Turkey Creek Road address because Mrs. A has been burning her telephone down to the jack looking for Mr. A. In her complaint, Ms. B said that Mrs. A had called her at least 20 times just that day, leaving annoying messages ranging from pleas to talk to her husband, to lamenting that she no longer rings her sweetheart’s bell, to protesting that Ms. B’s relationship with Mr. A is too chummy by half. Ms. B said she doesn’t mind Mrs. A phoning, but felt some restraint was in order. When confronted, a well-oiled Mrs. A angrily howled that her absent husband and “best friend” never return her calls, except for the several messages they’d left her at about 9 o’clock that very morning, which was entirely too early because she “doesn’t function well” at that hour. When the officer explained that Mr. A and Ms. B didn’t want her calling so often, Mrs. A became incensed and vowed never to call either of them again. Her husband and best friend said they’d try to adjust.
A Nielsen Moment
PINE – If it’s true, as some claim, that television is destructive to the social fabric, that would go far toward explaining the domestic disquiet that recently brought deputies racing to a South Elk Creek Road residence. On arrival, one officer contacted the woman of the house, who’d called 911 and then secured herself in her bedroom, while the other chatted up her hubby in the kitchen. According to the woman’s statement, she and her husband argue frequently and, consequently, maintain separate sleeping quarters. On that evening, she’d gone to lie down in her room and took the satellite television control along for company. If that sounds peaceful enough, consider that whomsoever controls that remote wields absolute power over every TV in the house. Her husband took immediate issue with her evening’s viewing plans and demanded she surrender the device. She refused, and a mild set-to ensued, at the conclusion of which she called JCSO for back up. The hubby more or less confirmed his beloved’s account, although casting himself in the role of protagonist. Since neither version could be verified, the deputies made the Missus promise to stay in her room for the rest of the evening and made Pookums promise to leave her alone. The report doesn’t say who got custody of the remote.
