Let me ease your burden
I’ve scoured the pantry of my heart
For morsels sweet to tell
About the honey-roasted tart
Who has me in her spell
O’er skin like large-curd cottage cheese
Falls vermicelli hair
As limp and oily as you please
To chuck-roast shoulders there
Those marbled eyes, prosciutto wads
Stuffed neatly in her face
Ripe eggplant lips, like okra pods,
Disintegrate in place
With fingers thin as pretzel sticks
She cleans two pie-crust ears
With corn-cob tongue she chastely licks
Espresso-stained veneers
Great feet like racks of baby-backs
A cauliflower nose
Those gams, like hams with turkey tracks
Turn cheddar in repose
Her breath a piquant nasal treat
Of eggs and sauerkraut
Her voice a satisfying bleat
That I can’t live without
In this, the larder of my soul
She’s just the meal I wish
From soup to nuts, my Noodle Bowl
Is quite a tasty dish!
An orange moon like lantern hung
O’er autumn fields no longer young
Where parchment leaves despairing clung
And cornstalk voices softly sung
In dry and ancient Druid tongue
Demeter’s requiem
At stealthy pace the darkness grew
In hissing wrath the night-wind blew
Close to the kitchen fire he drew
A tiny, costumed bugaboo
In livery of chintz and glue
To merriment condemned
“I think I’d rather stay inside”
Said he, small eyes in panic wide
“In yonder parlor I’ll abide,
A bowl of candy by my side
For to appease the ghastly tide
That floods the town tonight.”
As sweetly as a chapel bell
With laughter bright as asphodel
His mother weaved a calming spell
The child’s anxiety to quell,
And youthful confidence compel,
Wee courage to ignite.
“My only son, my darling dear,
Those marrow-freezing shrieks you hear
Are but your playmates making cheer!
For ‘pon this eve, just once a year
Roam trick-or-treaters far and near
In happy, haunting horde.
“That grinning demon, eyes afire?
A sculpted pumpkin to admire!
That skeleton? Just wood and wire.
Nightmarish wraith? A fraud entire!
Go now, before the night expire
And claim your sweet reward!”
His terror being much allayed
No more in fear of witch or shade
He donned the cape his mother made
Raised up his broomstick pirate blade
Resolved to join the weird charade
And fill his candy pot.
“No Halloween deserter, me!
No more a baby will I be!”
Across the threshold, one, two, three
When from behind the shrubbery
Leapt up a monster suddenly
And ate him on the spot
For you of law-abiding turn
And candid temperament
It doesn’t pay to share concern
Of criminal ferment
Or take to task in language stern
The common miscreant
The vandal is no public blight
Proclaims the advocate
To exercise his sacred right
And nobly desecrate
Somebody else’s weal by night
Protesting his estate
The thief is not a loathsome worm
The robber not a curse
‘Victim’ is now the sanctioned term
For those who loot our purse
And we by selfishness confirm
Ourselves to be far worse
A rioter is not a thug
Nor wanton arsonist
We’ll answer anarchy with hugs
Apologists insist
And shake their heads and smugly shrug
As outrages persist
No longer is it safe to scold
The killer for his deed
Society, unjust and cold
Itself nurtured the seed
That’s grown into a hunter bold
And so we all must bleed
Even the savage Jihadi
Can suffer no offense
Mysogyny’s his culture, see?
His birthright violence!
Respect medieval bigotry
Lest punishment commence
In this our modern Babylon
We judge at our expense
Our highest virtue rests upon
Unthinking tolerance
And greatest sin is hatin’ on
Malignant pestilence
There strut amongst us them what will
Romp and riot and sin and swill
And burn their candle hot until
December 31st
When sudden-like they’ve got their fill
Of hedonistic overkill
And so affirm, all smug and shrill
In grace they stand immersed
The New Year’s Resolution be
A righteous curiosity,
An exercise in sanctity
Easier said than done
If temp’rance was your cup o’ tea
You would be sober already.
And giving up on gluttony
Is battle never won
“I will regain my lean physique
By working out three times a week”
Sounds doable when things look bleak
Hung-over New Year’s Day
And then you’re playing hide-and-seek
With folks from your Pilates clique,
A self-indulgent bob-bon freak
Committed to decay
Don’t be a tool, you weak-willed fool!
Keep always to this Golden Rule,
Resolve to quit only what you’ll
Be glad to go without
Give up the nasty and the cruel
And watch your self-improvement pool
Grow suddenly both deep and cool
Success no more in doubt
“I will not dine on rancid meat
Or lick a dirty toilet seat”
Are Resolutions hard to cheat
And don’t take lots of time
“I’ll never slap a nun from Crete,
Or juggle chainsaws in the street,
Or drink a half-liter of DEET,
Or pistol-whip a mime
“I won’t support the Taliban.
I won’t wear shorts made of rattan.
I won’t pour gin on Raisin Bran
At least till 8 o’clock.
“If someone says ‘Let’s join the Klan!’
Firmly will I denounce that plan.
I’ll not use pages of Quran
For origami stock.
“No way will I sit idly by
While supermodels sigh and cry
For want of an appreciative eye
I’ll dote on ev’ry lass
“I will not clean my squalid sty
Engage in treason on the sly
Won’t ever make what I can buy
I won’t feed orphans glass
“I won’t eat possum from the can,
I won’t defy a no-fly ban,
No way I’ll finish what’s began
Or start what looks like work
“I won’t defect to Kazakhstan,
Or eat X-rated marzipan,
Or pick a fight with Jackie Chan,
Or gamble with a Turk
“I promise not to learn to sew,
Won’t study Edgar Allan Poe,
Will steadfastly ignore J-Lo
Wherever she’ll occur
“I won’t take strychnine with my Joe,
Or paddle-board a lava flow.
Nor shall I be induced to mow,
Or worship Lucifer.”
Aspire too much and wind up lame?
Or maybe finally beat this game.
Glory is yours, or yours the blame.
The row is yours to hoe
No Resolution worth the name,
Need end in failure, die of shame.
Should noble schemes go up in flame,
Your Resolutions blow
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