When Grocers Attack
A Chestnut Drive resident arose from a sound sleep on the morning of March 1 to find his property liberally covered in groceries. The first thing he noticed was the crisp, red apple that someone had hurled through his front window. Investigating further, he discovered several fresh, nourishing, vitamin-rich eggs coating the front of his house and a creamy, delicious layer of chocolate syrup blanketing his car. Completing the natural dietary cycle, soft, absorbent toilet paper had been strewn thickly across the front of his home. Since he and his wife had retired at midnight, he figured the delivery had been made in the early morning, though he assured sheriff’s deputies that he’d never placed such an order. Should authorities succeed in identifying the moonlight provisioners, the homeowner will be most interested in settling his account.
