The holiday took a cheerless turn when two sons called the cops on their dad. Staying with Pop at the ancestral Conifer home over Thanksgiving, they’d also paid a visit to their father’s ex-wife, which peeved old dad so much that he barred them from removing their belongings from the house. Since dad was well into the festive libations by that time, his boys asked an officer to stand by while they removed their stuff anyway. Noticing an uninvited uniform, dad became further enraged because his sons “brought the police into this.” When told the fruit of his loins were coming to get their stuff, he said “If you wanna stand by, you do what you gotta do, officer.” When the lads arrived, Pop insisted “the police can leave,” and “we’re done unless you go away.” When the officers didn’t leave, he wondered if we’re all living in a “police state.” Asked if he would go inside and retrieve one son’s insulin needles, he dutifully brought them out, then started yelling at the boy and handed them over with a decidedly unfatherly shove. “It rattled my ribcage,” the son said later. Weary of the man’s atrocious holiday spirit, the officers clapped him in irons, at which he sourly observed, “Now you’re going to take me to jail because I pushed something into my son’s chest a little harder than what you liked.” Deputies stuffed the turkey in the county coop.